Answering Difficult Questions

People often ask me how they should handle difficult questions. This is probably one of the areas that creates the greatest fear around making presentations. If you know your subject well you can probably make a presentation quite confidently. However, your confidence can be undermind by the fear that someone may ask you something you can't answer and you think that it will make you look stupid or unprofessional. The good news is that there a few things you can do to make the situation easier to handle.

• Take a deep breath.
• Repeat the question to verify you have understood it. This also gives you thinking time.
• If you don't know how to respond say "That's a good question, I haven't hear that one before" or "I hadn't really thought about it until you asked that question" and then respond with an initial reaction. People will realise that you are thinking on your feet and won't expect an 'expert' answer. It is even permissable to ask them what they think the answer might be.
• Explain that your answer may be your opinion rather than fact.
• Be prepared for the fact that you can’t please everybody and that your answer may not be well received.
• Stall – I can’t answer that at this time because…. I don’t have all the facts/It is confidential/The final decision hasn’t been made/It’s subject to legal constraints/I don’t know, I’ll get back to you on that.
• Be careful that you don’t appear weak if you stall, maybe give a time and date when you can answer it or a way you can get the answer to them (such as via email).
• Answer it using positive language.
• If it is difficult or unpalatable then explain why the decision was made or what the different options are and what their implications are.

If you respond with conviction and aplomb you will appear to be professional and people will respect you - even if your answer is "I don't know". They would rather that you were honest with them than feel you are hiding something.

Elizabeth the Golden Age

Last week I went to see the Cate Blanchett film "Elizabeth the Golden Age". It is a well-photographed and well-acted film that was spoiled for me by the butchering of the Tilbury speech.

Throughout the film I was anticipating hearing one of hte most pivotal speeches in history. Imagine my excitement when the moment actually arrived. Only to be followed swiftly by the disappointment when I realised that the only rousing words were to be "I will be with you on the battlefield". What happened to the famous "I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too..."?

Is it just me or did other people find this disappointing too?

What is confidence?

To become confident at doing something you need to practice it over and over again. This means that you will probably feel nervous the first time you make a presentation. The good news is that even experienced speakers feel nervous when presenting something new. They just know how to overcome that nervousness and make it work to their advantage.

How can you get the confidence you need for your first few presentations so that you can become unconsciously competent without your audience knowing the difference? Basically you fake it! You may be surprised to know that if you act confidently, even though you don't feel it, your audience will think that you are confident.

Confidence is ….

• Doing what you want to do, when and how you want to do it
• Being relaxed, comfortable and secure
• Believing in yourself
• Not believing someone else is always better
• Doing as well as you can so that doors open in the future
• Setting goals that stretch you but are not too high so that you can achieve
• Not having a huge gap when comparing yourself to others
• Not compensating for being insecure by acting brashly or aggressively
• Having the ability to act confident, even though you don’t feel it
• Having the self-esteem to fail and make mistakes
• Being comfortable with yourself, and not worrying what other people think
• Having the guts to achieve what you want

Confident people feel secure in the knowledge of their talents and so are relaxed and keen to listen and learn from others.

how to overcome fear of speaking in public

Most people lack confidence when speaking in front of others beacause they are too worried about what other people think about them. I've found that if I want to increase my confidence when I have to speak in a group situation, whether it is a meeting or a presentation/speech, I just think about my audience and how important my information could be to them rather than trying to be a mind-reader. As soon as I switched my thoughts to other people's needs rather than my own insecurities it became much easier to speak in these situations. In fact there are times when I positively enjoy it, especially when I get a bit of banter going with the audience - then everyone has some fun.