The sound and quality of your voice relies on your ability to control your breathing. The best kind of breathing for producing volume and good vocal control is passive breathing.
Passive breathing starts with the exhale. Hold your fist below your navel. Exactly at the spot where your fist is located, isolate and flex only those lower abdominal muscles and squeeze out a little puff of air. Make sure it is not from your waist but below your waist down by your fist and that it is only a little air. Imagine squeezing the air out as if it is a bubble of air from a turkey baster.
Let the air back in again as if you are hollow below the waist. Let your lower abdominal muscles relax as you loosen your jaw and open your throat, as if you were yawning. Keep your throat relaxed and open so that the air can flow in. Visualise about a fistful of air falling directly down to the bottom of your torso.
Now squeeze the air back out again with a light grip from your lower abdominal muscles.
Keep the process going and you are now breathing passively.
Practice breathing this way and you will notice an improvement in your vocal control.
For more detail on other aspects of speaking and presenting see www.youcanspeakwithconfidence.com
Monday, 27 July 2009
Monday, 13 July 2009
People don't listen
Do you get frustrated because people don't seem to listen to you - even in everyday conversation?
Do other people talk over you or interrupt before you've finished talking?
This can be very frustrating and demoralising if it happens to you all the time. People can be so rude sometimes even if it is unintentional. So why does this happen and how can you make yourself heard?
There can be many reasons why this happens:
* the listener could be over-excited about what THEY have to say on the topic
* perhaps you aren't confident about the subject
* you might be rambling and taking too long to get to the point
* or maybe your voice is too soft and uncertain
Today I'd like to pick up on just the last point there. If your voice is too difficult to hear or understand then your listener can become frustrated and even embarrassed if they have to keep asking you to repeat yourself.
If you're not sure about how you sound to other people then make a recording of your voice and listen back to it. Think about how it might sound to other people and list 3 things that are good about the way you speak and 3 things you'd like to improve.
This is a good starting point as it highlights areas where you need to do some work and also sets in place the foundations of what you already do well.
Do other people talk over you or interrupt before you've finished talking?
This can be very frustrating and demoralising if it happens to you all the time. People can be so rude sometimes even if it is unintentional. So why does this happen and how can you make yourself heard?
There can be many reasons why this happens:
* the listener could be over-excited about what THEY have to say on the topic
* perhaps you aren't confident about the subject
* you might be rambling and taking too long to get to the point
* or maybe your voice is too soft and uncertain
Today I'd like to pick up on just the last point there. If your voice is too difficult to hear or understand then your listener can become frustrated and even embarrassed if they have to keep asking you to repeat yourself.
If you're not sure about how you sound to other people then make a recording of your voice and listen back to it. Think about how it might sound to other people and list 3 things that are good about the way you speak and 3 things you'd like to improve.
This is a good starting point as it highlights areas where you need to do some work and also sets in place the foundations of what you already do well.
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
Energy affects performance
I was talking to my neighbour's son at the weekend about hunting for work. He described exactly what happened to me when I finished my last corporate project.
After several weeks of job hunting he felt drained. There were no opportunities for being put forward for jobs let alone getting to an interview. It got to the stage where he thought "what's the point of even getting out of bed?".
I know from experience that it is difficult to get out of such a low point. The trouble is that if he did suddenly get a called to interview he wouldn't perform at his best because his energy would be low. What impression do you think that would make on an employer?
The same thing happens if you are pitching for business. Your prospective customer is not going to be very impressed if you don't sound convinced about making a sale.
So what can you do about it? The simple answer is to change your thoughts. That is not always easy to do in practice without some help. If you are in need of a boost in this area you might like to join my free teleconference on the Power of Attraction. The first one is on Monday 22nd June 2009 at 20:00 GMT. Contact me at admin@hartspring.com if you want details of how to join in.
After several weeks of job hunting he felt drained. There were no opportunities for being put forward for jobs let alone getting to an interview. It got to the stage where he thought "what's the point of even getting out of bed?".
I know from experience that it is difficult to get out of such a low point. The trouble is that if he did suddenly get a called to interview he wouldn't perform at his best because his energy would be low. What impression do you think that would make on an employer?
The same thing happens if you are pitching for business. Your prospective customer is not going to be very impressed if you don't sound convinced about making a sale.
So what can you do about it? The simple answer is to change your thoughts. That is not always easy to do in practice without some help. If you are in need of a boost in this area you might like to join my free teleconference on the Power of Attraction. The first one is on Monday 22nd June 2009 at 20:00 GMT. Contact me at admin@hartspring.com if you want details of how to join in.
Friday, 22 May 2009
Speaking & Network Marketing
Having done some network marketing myself I know that it comes as something of a shock to people that they have to do speaking in order to promote their business. Sometimes even the most confident speakers find certain aspects of it are challenging. It seems that we are quite happy to promote other people's products and services but then find it difficult to tell people about our own business.
This is not restricted to network marketers. I saw a TV programme this week where a woman had been made redundant and then decided to start her own cake making business. She said she couldn't understand why she found it so daunting to talk about her own business when she'd been doing it for years for her previous employer.
I think the difference is that your own business is personal. You are putting your head above the parapet and asking people to look at you. If you have not been used to the limelight it can be very nerve racking.
This reminds me, the general public are often surprised that actors and other performers are nervous about making speeches. You only have to watch award ceremonies to see how bad some of them are. My theory is that they are comfortable with saying other people's words (e.g. from a script) but have trouble expressing themselves on their own behalf.
I'd be interested to know what you do to overcome nerves in these situations.
This is not restricted to network marketers. I saw a TV programme this week where a woman had been made redundant and then decided to start her own cake making business. She said she couldn't understand why she found it so daunting to talk about her own business when she'd been doing it for years for her previous employer.
I think the difference is that your own business is personal. You are putting your head above the parapet and asking people to look at you. If you have not been used to the limelight it can be very nerve racking.
This reminds me, the general public are often surprised that actors and other performers are nervous about making speeches. You only have to watch award ceremonies to see how bad some of them are. My theory is that they are comfortable with saying other people's words (e.g. from a script) but have trouble expressing themselves on their own behalf.
I'd be interested to know what you do to overcome nerves in these situations.
Monday, 23 March 2009
A Fit of the Giggles
At the weekend I ran one of my courses on Developing Powerful Presentations. They were a great group and we had a lot of fun. By the end of the day they had become comfortable enough to be challenged to talk for one minute on any topic I gave them. None of them knew what their topic would be so it certainly set their hearts pounding.
One of the speakers stood up and launched into a speech that used some of the material from an earlier presentation. His sense of fun was very infectious and it made one of the people in the front row smile. Well that just set him off with such a fit of the giggles that he couldn't speak.
Every time he thought he had it under control he would take a deep breath to speak, catch the eye of the same person in the front row and it would set him off again. I think it's called 'corpsing' by actors. The rest of the group were quite amused by it all and it raised the question of how to cope with this situation if it happens to you.
The first thing to remember is that it is a physical reaction and it can sometimes happen as a result of nerves. The first thing is to do something to interrupt this physical reaction. This could be something as simple as taking a deep breath or moving yourself into a different position.
Once you've managed to stop the giggling you then need to prevent it coming back. Here are a few tips to help you do this:
One of the speakers stood up and launched into a speech that used some of the material from an earlier presentation. His sense of fun was very infectious and it made one of the people in the front row smile. Well that just set him off with such a fit of the giggles that he couldn't speak.
Every time he thought he had it under control he would take a deep breath to speak, catch the eye of the same person in the front row and it would set him off again. I think it's called 'corpsing' by actors. The rest of the group were quite amused by it all and it raised the question of how to cope with this situation if it happens to you.
The first thing to remember is that it is a physical reaction and it can sometimes happen as a result of nerves. The first thing is to do something to interrupt this physical reaction. This could be something as simple as taking a deep breath or moving yourself into a different position.
Once you've managed to stop the giggling you then need to prevent it coming back. Here are a few tips to help you do this:
- Avoid repeating whatever started you giggling in the beginning. If it is a particular person in the audience then don't look at them! If it is a particular word or phrase then say it in a different way!
- As soon as you feel the start of the giggles notice where it starts and where it goes as it moves through your body. You can prevent the giggles happening by reversing the movement!
- Think about something serious that is guaranteed to bring you back down to earth.
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
Taking the fear out of networking
Along with speaking in public, the greatest fear for many people is entering a room full of strangers. The odd thing is that someone with this fear thinks they are the only one who feels that way. It comes as quite a revelation to them when they realise that all those other, seemingly confident, people are also nervous.
It doesn't seem to matter how often someone does networking this fear can hit in the strangest circumstances. A friend was telling me recently about a group of senior managers who attend a regular forum with him. One of the managers regularly networks within his region and is quite comfortable with it. However, he attended an event in London and admitted to my friend that he had spent the whole time sitting in a corner sending texts.
What a waste!
If only he had realised that there were probably several other people in the room feeling the same way, he could have had a much more productive evening.
I remember going to my first breakfast meeting with the Institute of Directors. I stood at the signing in desk feeling very insecure because I felt that these people were 'real' directors of large companies and that I was a fraud. Then a lady spoke to me nervously saying she was new and would I show her the ropes. It was at that point that a lightbulb went on for me! I wasn't alone!
Funnily enough, as soon as I started thinking about helping other people my nerves disappeared. I now make it a policy to look for someone standing nervously in a corner and I go up and introduce myself. This has developed my network to a huge extent as well as my standing with my colleagues.
With this in mind - go out and have fun networking!
Learn about Strategic Networking https://betterlifestyle.litupp.com/course/people-strategic-networking/
Friday, 24 October 2008
Knowing how to negotiate
If you want to know how to negotiate well just observe a child who wants something. Even if they’ve been told ‘No’ they will try again … and again … and again. As they get more sophisticated they won’t just ask out right for it, they will find different ways to get their point across. They may even say something like “If I wash the car for a month can I have ….”. The main thing you will notice is that they DON’T GIVE UP.
In life everybody negotiates about almost everything. It’s just we don’t always realise it and that’s the problem. We often think that negotiating happens at specific times, such as between customers and suppliers, but that’s not the whole story. What happens when you and your friends want to go out for the evening? There is a lot of negotiating that goes on around when and where you are going and with whom.
Negotiations in practice are a messy, almost chaotic, experience. Human beings are given to wandering attention, digressions, circular arguments, repetition, interruptions, cross-talk, irrelevancies, and a whole range of emotional responses from the passive sulk to the violent outburst.
What’s the worst thing you can do to a negotiator? Be rude? No … accept his or her first offer. Why is that? Well if someone accepts your first offer you start to wonder how high they would have been willing to go. On the other side you start to wonder if you really got a bargain.
What’s the negotiator’s most useful question? If you put the words “What if…” in the front of every question.
In life everybody negotiates about almost everything. It’s just we don’t always realise it and that’s the problem. We often think that negotiating happens at specific times, such as between customers and suppliers, but that’s not the whole story. What happens when you and your friends want to go out for the evening? There is a lot of negotiating that goes on around when and where you are going and with whom.
Negotiations in practice are a messy, almost chaotic, experience. Human beings are given to wandering attention, digressions, circular arguments, repetition, interruptions, cross-talk, irrelevancies, and a whole range of emotional responses from the passive sulk to the violent outburst.
What’s the worst thing you can do to a negotiator? Be rude? No … accept his or her first offer. Why is that? Well if someone accepts your first offer you start to wonder how high they would have been willing to go. On the other side you start to wonder if you really got a bargain.
What’s the negotiator’s most useful question? If you put the words “What if…” in the front of every question.
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