Do you get frustrated because people don't seem to listen to you - even in everyday conversation?
Do other people talk over you or interrupt before you've finished talking?
This can be very frustrating and demoralising if it happens to you all the time. People can be so rude sometimes even if it is unintentional. So why does this happen and how can you make yourself heard?
There can be many reasons why this happens:
* the listener could be over-excited about what THEY have to say on the topic
* perhaps you aren't confident about the subject
* you might be rambling and taking too long to get to the point
* or maybe your voice is too soft and uncertain
Today I'd like to pick up on just the last point there. If your voice is too difficult to hear or understand then your listener can become frustrated and even embarrassed if they have to keep asking you to repeat yourself.
If you're not sure about how you sound to other people then make a recording of your voice and listen back to it. Think about how it might sound to other people and list 3 things that are good about the way you speak and 3 things you'd like to improve.
This is a good starting point as it highlights areas where you need to do some work and also sets in place the foundations of what you already do well.
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2 comments:
I think that's really useful advice. It's very important to acknowledge what you do well and learn from what you feel is not so effective. It is counterproductive to compare yourself with others and it can be useful to become curious about how other people listen.
If you think people don't listen to you, notice if you aren't listening to other people. When you treat people the way you would like to be treated all sorts of things can shift. Practice being 'present', when others experience that you are attentive to them, they are more likely to reciprocate. You will also find conversations are much more interesting and experience a new level of 'connection'.
Julie Mann (Therapist/Voice over Artist) Habitfixer
j'ai essayé de traduire mais la traduction trop mauvaise dommage que ce soit ecris en Anglais pour moi qui suis,une française sorry i understand your language
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